Why Women Pay a Higher Price for Failure

The claim made in the headline is neither a hunch nor an anecdotal belief. It is a scientifically established fact. A study based on PISA data collected from more than 400,000 students found that girls score significantly higher on the fear-of-failure scale. Borgonovi and Han, the authors of the study, observed that this statistically significant gender difference in the experience of failure appeared in 56 out of the 59 countries included in the data set.

And that is not all. A 2024 study published in Frontiers in Psychology showed that women’s performance after failure is 2.4% lower than that of men in the same situation. A pronounced post-error slowing effect among women was also documented in a study published in Scientific Reports. Taken together, these findings leave us with no choice but to accept the evidence and ask an important question: why do women experience failure more intensely than men?

Why do women struggle more with failure?

These studies reveal several additional insights. First, women show a stronger emotional response to failure than men. In dealing with its consequences, women tend to use emotion-focused coping strategies, while men are more likely to focus on problem-solving. As women process a surge of emotions, they often become less focused and less willing to re-enter competition. But does this tell the whole story?

Not quite. As is often the case, once we look beneath the surface and place these findings in a broader social context, interpretations begin to shift. What researchers consistently emphasize is that women are neither less capable nor less skilled than men. So what is really at play?

1. Women have less room for error
In many professional and social environments, a man’s failure is more readily framed as part of the process: an experiment, an attempt, a lesson. For women, failure is more easily generalized—one mistake can become proof of incompetence. As a result, women experience failure as an existential risk that threatens their reputation, credibility, or position.

2. Failure is more often internalized by women
Psychological research shows that women are more likely to attribute failure to personal shortcomings—I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough—while men more often rely on external attributions, such as poor conditions or unfavorable circumstances. When failure becomes a story about identity rather than context, it is only natural that it hurts more.

3. Failure as a rule violation
From early childhood, girls are more frequently rewarded for neatness, reliability, and meeting expectations, while boys are more often allowed to make mistakes and take risks. As a result, women tend to experience failure as a violation of rules rather than a normal part of learning.

4. Women more often take emotional responsibility for failure
For women, failure is rarely only professional—it is emotional as well. They think about how their failure affected others, feel guilt, and experience a strong need to explain, justify, or fix the situation.

5. Women often learn more from failure—but at a higher cost
Paradoxically, research shows that women frequently extract deeper lessons from failure and adjust their behavior more thoroughly in the long term. However, this depth comes at a higher emotional price: more self-doubt, rumination, and self-criticism.

6. Failure affects women’s confidence more than their ambition
Many women do not abandon their goals after failure, but they reduce their visibility: they speak up less, apply for fewer opportunities, and claim less space. A useful question to ask is: Have I reduced my visibility because of a single failure?

How can this be changed?

Above all, women must learn to interpret failure not as a personal verdict, but as an event from which one learns and moves forward. The first step is consciously separating identity from outcome: failure does not define who you are—it only shows what did not align in a particular attempt. The distinction may seem subtle, but it is crucial.

It is also important not to wait for a moment of complete readiness before continuing. Women often withdraw until confidence returns, until they feel “ready again,” yet confidence most often returns through action, not before it. One small, controlled step can be enough to restore a sense of competence.

It is equally helpful to analyze failure without self-punishment: what was within your control, what was not, and what you would do differently next time. Everything beyond that is mental noise. Finally, talk about failure selectively—with people who will neither minimize nor dramatize your experience. Silence tends to amplify shame.

And in the end, remember this: when failure hurts more, it often means that you cared deeply and gave your all. And that is no small thing.