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Osnaživanje, stil i inspiracija spajaju se u svakom izdanju našeg magazina.
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June 29, 2026
How many times have you heard phrases such as: Stay positive. Don’t think negatively. Everything will be fine. Although usually well-intentioned, these messages are rarely helpful. To remain emotionally stable, what we truly need is not constant positivity, but emotional regulation.
Despite their good intentions, these messages often have the opposite effect. Instead of helping us, they teach us to suppress what we feel. We turn sadness into a smile, swallow our anger, and try to ignore our fears. Over time, we begin to believe that unpleasant emotions are a sign of weakness and that a mentally healthy person is someone who is always calm, optimistic, and in a good mood.
Psychologists warn that mental health does not mean the absence of difficult emotions. Rather, it means having the ability to recognise, understand, and tolerate these emotions without becoming overwhelmed by them. This skill is known as emotional regulation.
Emotional regulation refers to our ability to recognise, understand, and manage our emotions in a healthy way. This does not mean that we will always remain calm or that we can avoid sadness, anger, or anxiety.
Quite the opposite.
An emotionally resilient person can say, I am angry right now or I am feeling afraid, without allowing that emotion to completely take control of their behaviour. In other words, emotional regulation is not about controlling emotions—it is about changing our relationship with them.
It is also important to remember that emotions do not exist only in our minds. They are experienced in our bodies as well. Anger can accelerate our heart rate, anxiety may create a knot in our stomach, and sadness can leave us feeling physically exhausted. Emotional regulation therefore also involves developing a stronger connection with our bodies.
Positive thinking can certainly be helpful. The problem arises when we insist on positivity at all costs. Psychologists refer to this phenomenon as toxic positivity, and it has become increasingly common in modern life.
Toxic positivity is the belief that we must remain positive in every situation, even when we are experiencing grief, illness, failure, or a major life crisis.
Everything happens for a reason.
You have to stay strong.
Don’t be negative.
These statements rarely empower us. More often, they make us feel even worse because they send the message that something is wrong with us if we experience sadness, anger, or disappointment.
Emotional regulation starts from an entirely different premise: all emotions are valid. Some emotions are pleasant, others are not, but none of them are inherently wrong.
Emotions are much more than feelings. They provide information about our needs, boundaries, and values.
Anger often tells us that a boundary has been crossed, while sadness may signal loss. Anxiety can sometimes warn us that we perceive a situation as threatening.
When we learn to listen to our emotions instead of suppressing them, we become more resilient, make better decisions, and build healthier relationships.
Research shows that people who develop emotional regulation skills have a lower risk of anxiety and depression, manage conflict more effectively, and demonstrate greater psychological resilience.
The good news is that emotional regulation is a skill that can be learned.
Sadness, anger, disappointment, and fear are not your enemies. Try to view them as information rather than problems that need to be eliminated as quickly as possible.
Psychologists often refer to this strategy as name it to tame it. When we put emotions into words, we reduce their intensity.
When emotions become overwhelming, shift your attention to your body. Feel your feet on the floor, focus on your breathing, or identify five things you can see around you.
These simple grounding techniques help the nervous system return to a state of balance.
Most women speak to themselves far more harshly than they would ever speak to a close friend.
The next time you are struggling, ask yourself: What would I say to someone I love if they were going through this? Then offer those same words to yourself.
You do not have to process every emotion on your own. Talking with a trusted friend, a therapist, or someone you trust is often an important part of emotional regulation.
A culture obsessed with positivity often tells us that unpleasant emotions should be eliminated as quickly as possible. But human life does not work that way.
The problem is not that you sometimes feel bad—no one is happy all the time. What matters is learning how to navigate difficult emotions while protecting your mental health.
Photo: Pexels.com
