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Osnaživanje, stil i inspiracija spajaju se u svakom izdanju našeg magazina.
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December 24, 2025
There are certain people who, no matter how dear they are to us, are simply not good for us. After spending time with them, we feel drained, unmotivated, ready for bed. Somehow, they manage to pull all the energy out of us and leave us empty. How can we recognize emotional vampires—and protect ourselves from them?
Energy vampires are people who, consciously or unconsciously, drain your strength. After interacting with them, you’re left with a lingering sense of emotional exhaustion. These are individuals who dominate every conversation, relentlessly focus on the negative, constantly criticize others’ opinions while imposing their own, seek continuous validation and attention, or bring drama into every interaction. Even the smallest inconvenience becomes a catastrophe for them.
They don’t have to be bad people—quite the opposite. Most of us have at least one energy vampire we care about deeply, someone who is essentially a good but wounded person. They often carry unresolved trauma, insecurity, or deep loneliness. These can be:
– colleagues who unload their frustrations on you every single day without any intention of finding solutions;
– friends who constantly seek reassurance and validation but rarely offer the same in return;
– a partner who centers every conversation exclusively around their own needs, ignoring yours;
– a family member who subtly induces guilt, criticizes, or consistently plays the victim.
Even if these people aren’t “bad,” their long-term impact on you can be harmful.
When you repeatedly find yourself carrying someone else’s emotional load, you may begin to experience mental fatigue and difficulty concentrating or making decisions, increased anxiety and irritability, a sense of inner tension or suppressed anger, as well as physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach discomfort, or sleep disturbances. Low mood is also common, along with a sense of unease or dread before interacting with certain people.
Your nervous system does not distinguish between physical and emotional threats. When an interaction repeatedly triggers a stress response—even subtly—it will eventually start to affect your overall health. This impact can be even greater if you are highly empathetic and tend to take other people’s emotions to heart.
Psychology identifies five common personality types that can be considered emotional vampires. It’s time to recognize them in your environment—and protect yourself.
Their motto is: “Me first.” Everything revolves around them. They have a grandiose sense of self-importance and entitlement, take up space and attention, and constantly seek admiration. They are dangerous because they lack empathy and have a limited capacity for unconditional love. When things don’t go their way, they become punitive, emotionally withholding, or cold.
How to protect yourself: Keep your expectations realistic. These are emotionally limited people. Try not to fall in love with them, and don’t expect them to be selfless or capable of loving without conditions. Never tie your self-worth to them or confide your deepest feelings to them.
These vampires drain you with their “poor me” attitude. The world is against them, and in their view, that’s the reason for their unhappiness. When you offer a solution, they respond with: “Yes, but…” Over time, you may find yourself screening their calls or avoiding them altogether. As a friend, you want to help—but their stories of suffering overwhelm and exhaust you.
How to protect yourself: Set gentle but firm boundaries. Listen briefly, then say: “I love you, but we can continue this conversation only if you truly want to talk about solutions.” With colleagues, show empathy while using body language that clearly sets limits—crossed arms, a body angled toward the exit.
These people obsessively try to control you and dictate how you should behave and feel. They have an opinion about everything. They control by invalidating your emotions when they don’t fit into their rulebook. They often begin sentences with: “You know what you need?” In the end, you feel dominated and diminished.
How to protect yourself: The key is never to try to control a controller. Be assertive in a healthy way, but don’t tell them what to do. You can say: “I appreciate your advice, but I need to work through this on my own.” Stay confident and don’t assume the role of the victim.
These people are not interested in your feelings. They care only about their own story. You wait for a chance to say a single word—but it never comes. Sometimes they even move so close physically that they’re practically breathing down your neck. You step back; they step closer.
How to protect yourself: These individuals don’t respond to nonverbal cues. You have to speak up and interrupt, uncomfortable as it may be. Listen for a few minutes, then politely say: “Sorry to interrupt, but I need to check in with others / get to a meeting / go to the restroom.”
These people have a talent for turning even the smallest incidents into full-scale dramas.
How to protect yourself: A drama queen cannot draw energy from calm. Stay composed and take a few deep breaths—this helps you avoid getting pulled into the theatrics. Set gentle but firm boundaries. For example: “You need to be on time if you want to keep your job. I’m sorry about all the mishaps, but work comes first.”
Once you’ve identified the energy vampires in your life, it’s time to assess the damage they cause. An energy audit—or a map of energy drains—can help you understand which people negatively affect your mental health and how to build boundaries around them.
Start by creating a raw list of people, situations, and roles that drain you. Don’t filter—just write them down. Next to each one, mark the type of drain (this is the key part of the map). Do they exhaust you mentally, emotionally, or consume your time? This is the moment when you begin to understand why something drains you.
In the next step, analyze how you feel before and after each interaction—and why. Classify the vampires by intensity: low, moderate, or high. Ask yourself whether these people can or should be removed from your life, or whether you can reduce the frequency of contact. Finally, design one concrete solution for each situation.
Congratulations—your map is complete.