The Fear of Slowing Down: A Hidden Crisis Among Women

Now is the time for a moment of honesty. Are you one of the women who eagerly look forward to moments of rest, or does the very thought of slowing down make you anxious? If your answer is option B, it may be time for a bit of introspection. There is a strong chance that you are overly attached to work and constant activity — and that you are experiencing a fear of slowing down. And no, you are not alone. Recent psychological research shows that the fear of slowing down is widespread among millennials, with women being 27 percent more prone to it than men.

What is the fear of slowing down?

According to psychologists, the fear of slowing down is a psychological pattern in which a person experiences discomfort, anxiety or guilt at the mere idea of stopping, resting or reducing their pace — even when they are exhausted or objectively in need of a break. It is a paradoxical state in which the body asks for rest, but the mind refuses to comply. How can you tell if this applies to you? If you experience guilt when you take a break, anxiety during free time, a constant need to stay busy, or restlessness when you have no planned obligations, it may be a sign that speaking with a therapist would be beneficial.

Why does the fear of slowing down occur?

At its core, this fear is rooted in psychological patterns that are deeply individual. In some cases, constant work and activity serve as a way to avoid confronting negative emotions. When that happens, staying busy functions as a protective shield, creating a psychological buffer zone that keeps difficult feelings at a distance. Whether through work, hobbies or social activities, busyness helps distract from anxious thoughts, dull feelings of sadness and conceal deeper fears, such as fear of failure or rejection.

In other cases, the fear stems from a loss of control. Constant activity is often used as a way to maintain a sense of control and stability in life, especially after experiencing chaos or trauma. This coping mechanism typically develops in environments where unpredictability feels overwhelming and unsafe. By filling their days with tasks and routines, people create an illusion of order and stability that helps them manage anxiety and fear.

For women, the fear of slowing down is also deeply embedded in social conditioning. For centuries, women have been taught that they are “good” when they are constantly active, available, useful and responsible. In such a system, slowing down is not seen as a need, but as a flaw. From an early age, women learn that their value lies in effort, adaptability and caring for others. Those who keep everything under control, who do not take breaks or ask for too much, are rewarded with approval. Slowing down, on the other hand, often carries an unspoken message: you are lazy, selfish, ungrateful, falling behind. As a result, many women develop a deeply rooted fear that if they slow down, they will lose the place they fought so hard to earn — at work, within their families and in their relationships.

How to overcome the fear of slowing down?

Psychologists recommend two key strategies for addressing this fear: mindfulness practices and sensory retreats. Spend time in a garden, directing your attention to the feel of the soil, the scent of flowers and the colors around you. Research shows that observing nature can reduce stress, fear, anger and sadness, while also lowering blood pressure, heart rate and muscle tension. Another option is to keep a notebook nearby and draw whenever you feel stressed. Allow the pen to freely express your thoughts and emotions through shapes and patterns — a meditative practice many of us already use unconsciously.

If that doesn’t resonate with you, create sensory retreats in your home. Research suggests that essential oils, such as lavender, can effectively alleviate symptoms of depression and anxiety through various mechanisms. Customize your aromatherapy experience with scents that feel comforting to you — lavender is always a good place to start. Explore the calming effects of sound meditation, such as Tibetan singing bowls or gentle chimes. Studies indicate that these practices can reduce tension, anxiety and depression while enhancing spiritual well-being, especially for those new to meditation. Experiment with different sounds — bowl vibrations, gongs or carefully curated playlists — and simply discover what feels best for you.